Blocked
Struggle is part of the creative process, but it doesn't have to run the show
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Dream Big is about my writing journey. Approximately every two weeks, I post about: finding writing in my 40s, embracing a creative life, writing my first novel, and the everyday moments that inspire me as I juggle family life and my dreams of becoming a published author.
I’m so glad you’re here.
“…dreaming big can help us push past our self-imposed limitations.”
A. Trevor Thrall, Brian Moran, Michael Lennington
The 12 Week Year for Writers
If you’re thinking it’s been a while since my last post, you are absolutely right. My break ended up a tad longer than anticipated.
And really, “break” is a bit of a euphemism. Writer’s block. Overwhelm. Self-sabotage. All of these feel more accurate.
But why? Wasn’t summer supposed to feel more relaxed? Wasn’t I supposed to blaze across the finish line of my first draft by the end of August?
Yes! That’s what I envisioned. And I did start the summer well with good progress on my novel.
But more and more, sometime in July, the changing camp schedules, teenagers coming and going, even the cute neighborhood gang of 10-yr olds, including my youngest, who sometimes stop in for popsicles—all a delight and as it should be, please don’t get me wrong – started to feel like a comedy sketch of someone trying to concentrate.
It’s not the distraction of a younger household, with nap times, tantrums, and toys strewn about. That’s no joke and I applaud anyone getting anything done at that stage.
No, now it feels a bit more like I’m in the eye of a midlife storm, sitting cross-legged with my laptop, with little bits of life swirling around me: order soccer cleats, schedule three dental cleanings, school registration, haircuts. There are a few bigger chunks hurling past again and again, too: Start looking at colleges, SAT prep? FINISH YOUR FIRST DRAFT!
Life, basically.
One might say: put on some noise-canceling headphones. But even when I block the noise, part of me is still attuned to the household, knowing that the popsicle brigade *might* stop by at any moment or someone might call “Mom!” because they forgot I’m working. Leaving the house or getting up with the birds are the best options, but I haven’t managed them on a consistent basis in the last few weeks.
I just haven’t been able to find my writing groove. And when a writer doesn’t want to write, it’s a pretty strong signal that something is wrong with the system.
Anyone who has written anything longer than a grocery list knows that writing isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. There are many days when your brain is fried, and the words flow like molasses.
A. Trevor Thrall, Brian Moran, Michael Lennington
Most of my life, I’ve gotten by with simply putting my head down and working hard, pushing through fatigue and overwhelm. It worked for a good while, until the override button stopped working.
In the last few weeks, so many people have said, “Isn’t this really normal?” Apparently, yes. But it’s not fun.
What most of us call writer’s block isn’t as simple as having no words to put on the page.
According to The 12 Week Year for Writers by A. Trevor Thrall, Brian Moran, and Michael Lennington:
The most common behaviors/feelings associated with writer’s block are:
Lack of productivity
Lack of focus
Fear of failure/negative reviews/lack of confidence
Lack of inspiration
Lack of motivation/burnout
Feeling overwhelmed/unsure how to start
Procrastination/missed deadlines
Lack of time to write/inefficient time use
Pretty grim, eh? I might add that all of these behaviors have a spiraling effect.
According to the author, there are a few reasons writer’s block occurs, but it pretty much boils down to this one: writing is really hard.
“It can be lonely. It requires enormous faith, patience, and emotional reserves to see a long project through. No one gets a free pass.”
A. Trevor Thrall, Brian Moran, Michael Lennington
Every writer is different, so I don’t know that there’s a cure-all for every creator, every situation, every project. I’m still learning, but I do know there are solutions to the parts of writing I find challenging, answers that honor my reality as well as what I experience. Solutions that don’t require an override button.
Resting, better productivity systems, understanding cognitive load and the flow cycle have all helped. And I’m happy to say, I’m finally feeling relief. That storm is starting to feel more like a gentle breeze.
When I started writing Dream Big, my intention was to capture my entire writing journey, the ups and the downs. While this may be a tiny low, my biggest takeaway from this summer is to trust this novel-writing process even more than I have until now. Struggle is part of the creative process, yes, but it’s not the whole thing.
As hard as it feels sometimes, one point remains clear: I will finish and edit this manuscript. Those things will happen.
So, my friends, here we go. Again! I’ve written 54,000 words on my first draft and am diving back in. Thanks for sticking with me.
I hope you have had a delightful summer so far, with plenty of sunny moments as carefree as a bunch of neighborhood kids riding off on their bikes, popsicle juice running down their wrists.
I’m so glad you’re here.
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The struggle is real. I've been in a summertime slump with writing and a lot of my other creative projects. Hope you are able to pick it all back up again. Maybe with the fall back-to-school energy boost.
Summer is terrible for writer mums…. In my opinion….