Enough Already

Those critical (but not yet urgent) moments in life that call for us to ditch denial, avoidance, and self-doubt. Enough already!

Almost two weeks ago, I sat in a dental chair waiting for the periodontist. I needed a gum graft, the last of many. 

I’ve become somewhat of an unwilling expert in this procedure over the years. I’ll spare you the grisly details of dental surgery, but many people ask: Why? Brushing too hard, orthodontics, teeth grinding, bad luck, and perhaps ignoring two decades’ worth of advice from various dentists in different states…there are many possible reasons. None of them matter much because the solution, at least in my case, was the same. But the journey hasn’t been simple, mostly due to that last reason.

Denial and avoidance, at best, are inefficient and exhausting. At worst, they limit opportunities to embrace our lives fully.

I had my first gum graft on a Friday morning about twenty years ago. The periodontist severely downplayed the recovery, sending me to the pharmacy to pick up pain meds with a mouth full of gauze and stitches, ensuring me that I’d be fine to teach my kindergarten class by Monday. This experience shaped my reaction any time a dental professional suggested I needed more grafts. Basically, I ignored them.

Last year, my hygienist took on a new, firmer tone. I relented, my periodontal consultation revealing that my gums had receded to a point described as “not quite urgent, but critical.”

The words anchored themselves in my mind as I sat in that dental chair looking out the window straight ahead, where bright blue condos stood across the parking lot. Anxiety and fear had clouded my perspective for so long, but the situation had come to a head. I agreed to surgery under general anesthesia, with the goal of finishing all my grafts in one fell swoop. The recovery was intense, but I did it.

Photo by Ozkan Guner on Unsplash

So, at the end of 2023, when we discovered one of the grafts needed revision, I braced myself for another powerful wave of anxiety. Instead, I made the appointment, noted it in my calendar, then forgot about it. 

Two weeks ago, I sat in the same chair, looking at those same blue condos. Through the window of one, a tiny dog with fox-like ears sat on the back of a couch, gazing at me across the parking lot. I smiled to myself, wondering how many nervous patients that little dog put at ease throughout the day. The periodontist arrived, and I took a deep breath as the chair reclined. 

Photo by Brandon Cormier on Unsplash

A few days later, when a friend expressed surprise that I hadn’t mentioned the procedure, I realized that something had changed. Honestly, I think I was done with all the dental drama that I had created for myself over the years.

Enough already.

I’m happy to say I’ve felt a similar shift with my writing. With little resistance, I am reimmersing myself in the world of my novel. My word count is slow, but I can feel the momentum returning, challenges and all. I hope to break 18,000 by the end of the weekend.

Without a doubt, it is hard work, discouraging at times. Like last week, when I reread my draft, and I had moments of “Hey! This isn’t too bad!” followed by, “This is maybe the worst thing I ever wrote.” If we let it, self-doubt can freeze writers mid-sentence and send them running in the other direction. A bit like dental surgery.

But you know what? Enough already. This is not an easy goal I’ve set for myself, but I love showing up for it. On many days, the muse stays home, flow is elusive, and it is very much just “work.” That’s fine. I’m doing it anyway, because while I wouldn’t call this project urgent, it feels, more and more each day, critical for me to write it.

Thanks for being here.

Have you had an “Enough already!” moment that you’d like to share?

Comment below or email me directly. I love hearing from you!

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Rebecca Jones

writes

Between

; it’s a dreamy publication, described in the author’s words as “the journal of an English woman in the French countryside.” Her most recent post, From the top of the ladder, captures the haze of jet lag and returning home from abroad. Her beautiful words will transport you.