Going Pro

In soccer, in writing, in life.

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A note on this post: In writing about “the beautiful game,” I use the term “soccer.” There’s a reason this sport has more than one name.

Ever since we moved to California, fall throws my seasonal cues. Pumpkins and apples abound, but the days are often warmer than in early summer. If you’ve ever felt a proper crispness in the air, the kind that clears your lungs and lasts the day, you know what I mean. Chilly or warm, fall always promises one thing: soccer.

Weekends find our family spread between fields and sometimes cities. In some moments, I find it hard not to laugh a little at how my life has unfolded. Basically, take the most noncompetitive introvert who would love to be leaf-peeping or immersed in a novel, and block off her weekends with team sports.

Even so, I have grown to love it. Most weekends bring my boys’ games along with local college matches. I knew something had changed when, after a memorable college game, my husband said, “I think you cared more about that winning goal than I did.”

Obviously, the level of play improves with age and experience. I think what I love most, though, is the skill progression, and that those players in the stadium were beginners once. If they stick with it, they arrive at a seemingly perfect cross between rugged athleticism and competition, their game fine-tuned with impressive choreography and footwork that rivals the most accomplished dancer. 

How many hours, days, years have they logged on the field? What keeps them going?

In her book How to Raise An Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims advises:

Your kid has a great chance of living a meaningful and purposeful life at the intersection of what they’re good at, what they love, and what they value.

Personally, I think this is wonderful advice for any age. Instead of casting one’s net in search of the elusive “passion,” we see that’s only part of the equation; the others are talent and hard work. It’s solid guidance for any parent, yes, but it’s also helpful as I reframe my own professional life.

Last weekend I found myself at a 10U soccer game that proved pretty intense. The teams were well-matched and the score swung back and forth until the winning team tipped it in the final minutes. Our boys came off the field, their cheeks steamed pink and uniforms smeared with grass stains. We lost, but their sustained effort was admirable; they played their best and gave it everything until the final whistle. If you have to lose, this was how to do it.

On the drive home, my son mused that he might like to “go pro in soccer.” My heart swelled and I smiled, but not too widely because I wanted him to know I took him seriously. He qualified his declaration with “but it probably won’t happen.”

He’s right, of course. It’s easier to get into Harvard. But he was talking to me and, despite my quiet ways, I have often colored outside the lines.

So I said, “I love that idea!” 

I don’t know if this dream of his will last longer than the soccer season. What I really love is that he thought it was possible, even after a loss.

In a recent exchange with my friend and fellow writer, Mary Joan Cunningham, who writes the wonderful Thriving…Sometimes, we chuckled about how writers are a crazy bunch. Besides creative vulnerability, it’s hard, the pay (if any) stinks, and the odds of commercial success are dismal. 

But what if it’s that thing you want to do anyway? What if you want to “go pro” at writing, or soccer, or whatever other dreams we harbor?

Do you love it? 

Are you good at it? 

Is it important to you?

Are you prepared to work hard? 

Are you persistent?

I now know more about soccer than that quiet little girl could have ever predicted, and we all love a win.

Still…losses, schmosses. I think you’ve already won just by showing up.