Pressing Pause

Character development, school's almost out, and knowing when to hit the pause button

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Dream Big is about my writing journey. Approximately every two weeks, I post about: finding writing in my 40s, embracing a creative life, writing my first novel, and the everyday moments that inspire me as I juggle family life and my dreams of becoming a published author.

I’m so glad you’re here.

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I haven’t written a word in my novel in two weeks. After the buzz of arriving at the halfway point, I started to write a scene…and couldn’t. It was the first time I really didn’t know what to write, or what the point of the scene was, or what my characters were even doing there.

Ah! I thought. This is what they mean when they say “know your characters.” 

As in, know a character well enough that you know their coffee order and how a conversation over said coffee might go. Know their favorite shampoo and how long it’s been since they’ve used it. Know what irks them and how they might spend a Sunday afternoon. Know them so they live and breathe as real people in your mind, even if none of these details are relevant to the story.

If you’re wondering: Yes, I absolutely profiled my characters before I started writing. But I could feel, as this scene slowed to a halt, that I hadn’t done enough. As much as I have the story in my head, plot points are still evolving and there is a lot left to sort out. If I don’t know these people inside and out, I won’t really know what they’ll do in any given circumstance.

The solution was to take a break from the writing and do the work…but the fact that it happened at all was a signal of sorts.

In general, I feel like I’m getting to a point in this first-draft process where I need to think more and pay closer attention. Both require time and headspace, which are in short supply this time of year. May is always an extraordinarily busy month (so much that I wrote it about it last year too). As my boys wrap up their school years, energy wanes, emotions run high, and our calendar is dotted with one event after another. It’s par for the course, but I’m spread thin.

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

While I am grateful for my flexible schedule, I am trying to do a lot of things, all of which I choose daily: writing my novel (which entails a lot of writing, but also lessons, coaching sessions and writing groups), trying to learn as much as possible about publishing and marketing, honoring my Substack publishing schedule, developing ideas for Dream Big (which are coming faster than I can tend to them), and reading as much as I can manage. 

But what happens when the demands of those projects change—like when I need to detour for character development—especially at a time when life doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room?

This sense of overwhelm must be in the air, because various posts and notes have filled my feed lately, all with a similar message to align our efforts with shifting priorities.

Here’s a Substack Note from

Dan Blank

that resonated with me:

My advice: Do Less.

Do one thing really well. Be the person most passionate or curious about that topic or theme. You don’t need fancy credentials — in fact, your “credential” is how well you explore this theme.

Stop stretching yourself so thin trying to do it all. Focus on what matters most to you, and double down on that. Not only will you feel better, you will be able to find more energy and time to devote to it, instead of spreading that out across so many other places.

The link to this note is here:

Doing less might be part of the solution, as might be taking a break, lowering expectations, or just working differently as I have done the last two weeks. Perhaps it’s simply a matter of recalibrating.

This temporary roadblock in my novel feels timely, more than a message that I needed to pause and tend to my characters. When the requirements of my writing projects change, I must adjust accordingly, even if that means shifting how and what I’m working on.

In this moment, I don’t know what this means exactly, or all of the adjustments I need to make. If nothing else, this realization simply grants permission to change course if needed, along with a sprinkle of grace and trust in the process.

What I do know is this: My novel remains my top writing priority. It’s the entire reason I started writing in the first place and the reason I started writing here on Substack. I don’t want to lose sight of that, even when life gets busy.

As May comes to a close, I look forward to reclaiming some of my energy and headspace as our days open up, longer morning writing sessions because we don’t have to rush to school, and sinking back into my story. Yes, school will be out and that always brings a new kind of “busy,” but summer also softens the edges of our family schedule. And right now, that sounds lovely.

In the meantime, I will do my best, between the school play, jogathon, book swap, bike rodeo, remembering to find a yellow shirt for my 4th grader for the school drone photo, a promotion ceremony, and a million other things I’m probably forgetting, to finish that scene.

See you in June.

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