Taking My Sweet Time

Lotusland, gray hair, and the passage of time. They're connected, I promise.

We’re five weeks into summer vacation in our house, which means we’ve hit the halfway mark. Once they did the math, my boys cringed and said, “Already?”

Their response didn’t surprise me, yet in the word “already,” I detected a twinge of . . . regret? Urgency, perhaps? As if, now that summer is in full swing, they want to be sure to maximize their time. They want to feel, when someone asks how their summer went, that it was every bit as great as they had hoped.

I get it, because I sense that urgency on a grander scale.

Recently, my parents visited Santa Barbara and we spent a morning at Lotusland. For those of you who aren’t local, Lotusland is a magnificent botanical property, named by its final owner, Madame Ganna Walska—or simply “Madame,” as the docent referred to her. 

After purchasing the estate in 1941, Madame Walska spent the last decades of her life indulging her sense of design and beauty throughout the gardens. Details such as the clamshell fountains, slag glass borders, and the Theatre Garden complete with stage wings shaped from African Fern Pine are impressive, and visitors are left with no doubt as to the resources needed to create such a fantastical place. Think Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory with plants instead of candy.

Beyond the beauty and creativity, what reverberated throughout the gardens was Madame Walska herself. Her passion for the arts, a certain whimsy . . . she was undoubtedly an indulgent woman, yet I couldn’t help admiring her confidence and what seemed like nothing less than a dogged determination to enjoy her life.

There, between the Insectary and Rose Gardens, as I followed my parents through the shaded lemon arbor, that sense of urgency rippled through my heart. Am I making the most of this time together? This life?

Something else: When I looked at the pictures from that day and throughout the visit, I felt a tiny bit shocked at how gray my hair has become. Much like I think my boys felt when they looked at the calendar, I couldn’t help but ponder my age, how fast the time has gone.

Already?

The pendulum of time swings between endless and fleeting; sometimes I think the sweetest spot is right in the middle. That morning at Lotusland, our family spent precious moments together and made new memories, all sorely overdue after everything brought by the last several years. We found the sweet spot.

As for my gray hair, it’s a daily reminder of how long I’ve been around—but also of a new phase, one that I plan to embrace as best I can. At the very least, I plan to rock my grays like Madame Walska rocked her plants. Her level of resources may be hard to come by, but we can all dream just as big, and her spirit is free to share.

Have a beautiful weekend, and thanks for being here.